Don't fight the process that naturally comes from a major loss and/or life change. A process of grieving, and with it comes healing. Give it time to run it's course.
Stages of Grief:
1. Denial - "this can't be happening to me"
2. Anger - "why me?" feelings to fight back or get even
3. Bargaining - often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the leaving spouse, or even with God
4. Depression - feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity. Mourning the loss of not only a person, but also the loss of hopes, dreams and plans for the future.
5. Acceptance - accept it, don't just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage.
Even though I have felt and dealt with all of these feelings, and accept where I am, I do find some days more difficult than others. It's hard to see people with their families, husbands, wives and kids altogether doing "family stuff" together. I'm not saying that I will never have that again (I would LOVE to!), but I have also had to accept if that does not happen for me again.
On those hard days, I have to constantly give my frustrations and fears to God to carry for me, that's too much for me to carry by myself. Having a strong support base of family and friends sure helps too.
Time does heal wounds, but you have to let it by letting go first.
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